Make Me Wanna Die
by missmaggiemalfoy
Summary: A Draco/Hermione songfic set to The Pretty Reckless's "Make Me Wanna Die."


"Make Me Wanna Die"

_Take me, I'm alive._

_ I never was a girl with a wicked mind._

_ But everything looks better when the sun goes down._

_ I had everything, opportunities for eternity,_

_ But I could belong to the night._

"Miss Granger," Professor Flitwick shushed the rambunctious fifth block class, "has once again made the highest marks on our final test of the year. She made a perfect score, the only student to have ever done so!" He began mopping his eyes with a tiny rag that was perfect for his small frame. He promptly hopped down off of his ever-growing stack of books and toddled over to congratulate Hermione Granger, who had been turning beet red and sliding down in her seat.

"Well done, Miss Granger!" He announced, reaching up to clap her on the back. She forced a smile which came off rather pained.

"Thank you, Professor," she managed. He beamed and wandered back to his oak desk, unaware that he had just given her unwanted attention. For the first three years of her Hogwarts career, she had been ecstatic, even proud to hear her name called out to the class. She'd rejoiced at each correct answer and celebrated with each A+ assignment. Now, a Fourth Year who'd had enough attention and excitement during her previous Hogwarts years, she just wanted to lie low.

This wasn't the case, however, as she left Professor Flitwick's classroom and rounded the corner, only to find Draco Malfoy waiting on her. A fellow Fourth Year, Draco was in Slytherin house and was known for his malicious and cunning ways. Hermione hated every single part of him, how he acted like he owned the bloody school and how he cared entirely too much how he looked.

"Why, hello there, Granger. Fancy seeing you here," Draco smirked, falling into step with Hermione, who was trying to leave.

"We're in the same Charms class, Malfoy," Hermione acknowledged, rolling her eyes.

"Ah, so we are…," Draco grinned. He loved toying with Hermione and watching her agitation grow. It was like a game to him. Hermione sensed that he was just getting started and decided to head the "game" off before it began.

"Look, Draco," she turned on her heel and huffed. "It's the last day of the semester. I don't want to talk to you. I don't even want to see your face right now. I just want to go home. So, if you please, sod off," she finished with a smile of her own and stomped off.

She hadn't gone more than five steps when she heard footsteps falling behind her.

"I know you, Hermione Granger," Draco breathed onto her neck. "I know who you are, what you are, and I know how you feel right now. Too much attention? Too many people wanting to know about how Harry will beat the next task of the tournament, or how you escaped Sirius Black last year? I know what you're feeling," he brushed her shoulder. She turned to find him right behind her, watching her. She searched him for any sign that he had a clue what he was talking about, and she found it in his open and innocent face.

_ Your eyes, your eyes,_

_ I can see it in your eyes, your eyes._

"How can you possibly-" She began, but he cut her off.

"Everyone knows my family," he muttered, slightly uncomfortable but altogether truthful. "They think I'm just like my father and, while I do have his dashing looks," Draco suavely pushed his light blonde hair back, "we're two totally different people."

Hermione blankly stared at him, dumbstruck. Could he be playing another one of his games with her? Or was tellingthe truth? They hadn't been on really great terms ever, but especially not sense she had punched him in the nose at the end of last year's term. So why was he deciding to confide in her now?

"I see…" She thought for a moment. "Are you telling me the truth, Malfoy?" He smiled and looked down at his shoes.

"Granger, I honestly wish I could say that I'm lying. However, this is the truth. And if you tell anyone," he threatened, "I'll tell everyone your secret."

"And what, exactly, is my secret?" Hermione laughed for the first time in the whole semester. Draco leaned close to her face.

"That you're madly in love with me, of course."

And, for the first time in her life, Hermione Granger truly didn't know what to say. She was at a loss for words because she suddenly wasn't sure how she felt about the dangerous Pureblood boy who, as he was strolling away, paused to throw a devilish wink over his shoulder.

_You make me wanna die._

_ I'll never be good enough._

_ You make me wanna die._

_ And everything you love,_

_ Will burn up in the light._

_ And every time I look inside your eyes, _

_ You make me wanna die._

As Hermione walked briskly into the Gryffindor common room, she was still thinking of Malfoy. She had to sort out these feelings for him, and she'd decided that the Christmas break would be the perfect time to do so. She would be back home with her parents and there would be plenty of thinking time. One of the other girls from her dormitory, Lavender Brown, interrupted her thoughts as she climbed the steps to the girls' bedrooms.

"Hermione," she called. "You got a letter earlier today! I put it on your trunk for you."

"Thanks, Lavender," Hermione said. She wondered who the letter could be from until she reached her trunk and noticed the dainty scrawl of her Muggle mother on the parchment. She read the words aloud because she was alone in the dormitory.

"Dear Hermione," she began. "Your father and I are terribly sorry that this news is reaching you so late, but we're afraid that you will not be able to come home over the next few weeks. You see, Darling, your father's sister has grown ill, and rather than have you travel back home and then out to see her, we thought that things would be easier for you if you remained at school. Again, we are so very sorry, but we will write you as soon as we return home. Hope you're well and that these difficulties do not damper your holidays.

"Happy Christmas," Hermione finished. "Love, Mum and Dad."

She didn't want to think that she'd been abandoned. She didn't want to acknowledge the fact that her only friends had already left the castle and that she was totally and completely alone for the holidays. She was so mentally exhausted that her mind couldn't process these things. So, she contented herself with not-thinking and wandered down to the kitchen to see the house elves off for Christmas.

She was nearly down the front steps and could see the door to the kitchens when she felt an arm brush against hers.

"What are you still doing here, Granger?" Draco smiled, walking beside her. "Don't you have somewhere to go?"

He'd meant it as a joke, of course. He knew that Hermione usually spent the holidays with her Muggle parents and, though that disturbed him a bit, he didn't expect this year to be any different.

He was shocked when Hermione looked up at him and had tears in her eyes. He grabbed her arm and steered her away from the Great Hall and the kitchens and over to a secluded alcove. They sat down on a bench and he wrapped his arm around her tiny shoulders. She wasn't weeping, wasn't even really crying. But he knew that she needed someone, so he stayed silent beside her and allowed her to not hide anymore.

_Taste me, drink my soul._

_Show me all the things that I shouldn't know,_

_When there's a blue moon on the rise._

_I had everything, opportunities for eternity,_

_But I could belong to the night._

It was the first time that Hermione had ever opened up to anyone besides herself. She let down her guard and told Malfoy about what really happened with Sirius Black last year, about how she was worried for Harry in the tournament, about how she was tired of school and just plain tired of life.

He remained quiet for the most part, nodding when appropriate and simply listening. He never knew how much this young, bossy girl was bottling up inside her. The fact that she'd poured it all out to him was surprising, but satisfying. He didn't remove his arm from around her shoulders, and she didn't ask him to remove it. By the time they'd finished talking, it was dark outside. Almost everybody had gone home, save the students who were staying for the break. Hermione stood up and brushed off her jacket, not wanting to say goodbye to Malfoy.

Suddenly, his eyes lit up and he grinned, an idea clearly forming in his head.

"Hermione," he said, standing up beside her. "What do you think about spending Christmas with me, at my house?"

_Your eyes, your eyes,_

_I can see it in your eyes, your eyes,_

_Everything in your eyes, your eyes._

She almost laughed out loud. The Malfoy family hated Mudbloods, and they'd never allow their son to befriend one, much less invite her over for the holidays. Even though Draco had been an anomaly, the rest of his family had to measure up to their cruel and ignorant name.

"Ehm, I don't think that's such a good idea…" She said honestly.

"Oh, come on. My father will be away for the entire break, so you don't need to worry about him. And my mother can actually be quite… accepting, once she gets to know you," Malfoy was still beaming. Hermione was on the verge of breaking, but she still feared what would happen if Draco's father were to catch her in their home.

As if reading her mind, Draco placed his hands on her waist comfortingly. "I promise you, I won't let my father hurt you. He won't even know you're there, but if he finds out, I'll protect you. You can trust me, Hermione," he smiled. She sighed and finally met his eyes, smirking.

"Well, I suppose it would be better than staying here…" She said honestly. Malfoy pulled her in for a warm hug and, though she never in a million years would have expected it, she returned it.

_You make me wanna die._

_I'll never be good enough._

_You make me wanna die._

_And everything you love, _

_Will burn up in the light._

_And every time I look inside your eyes,_

_I'm burning in the light._

_You make me wanna die._

Draco had his personal driver come to the castle since he'd missed the train. He also sent an owl to reach his mother ahead of time and let her know that he'd be bringing his friend, Miss Hermione Granger, over for the holidays. He didn't mention anything about her family or about the status of her blood heritage, only that she was a relatively new friend of his and that he couldn't wait to introduce her.

They agreed to meet in front of the castle at ten o'clock. Draco only had a few things to pack, but he took a bit longer than expected because he wanted to look presentable when he arrived home. People said that he cared too much about his looks, and while that was sometimes true, he wasn't vain. He simply enjoyed looking his best at all times.

Hermione was nearly all packed from before, but there were still a few things that she needed to do. She threw open her trunk and tossed in a few dresses that were more suitable for dinner at the Malfoy Manor than dinner with her own homely family. She also sent an owl to her parents to tell them that she would be with a friend for the holidays. She changed from her school robes to a small black dress with black tights and ballet flats. She quickly braided her hair with magic and glanced in the mirror, content. It was something she'd wear back home, but it was also sophisticated enough for the Malfoys, or so she hoped.

Draco was waiting for her outside the sleek black town car when she bundled up in her coat and headed out of the castle.

"You look lovely," he breathed when she reached him. She grinned and twirled around, letting the fresh snow fall in her hair. She felt like a completely different person, like Malfoy had somehow freed her. He laughed and helped her into the toasty interior of the back of the car, shutting the door against the chilly night air.

_I would die for you, my love, my love._

_I would lie for you, my love, my love._

_I would steal for you, my love, my love._

_And I would die for you, my love._

They'd been driving through the English countryside for nearly two hours, and Hermione was beginning to get sleepy. The driver had kept to himself while she and Malfoy had chatted about what they wanted to do over the holiday, about how nice it would be not to have school, about where he lived and what it was like there.

Just as Hermione was dozing off against the window, she turned over and faced Malfoy. He looked down at her and smiled, and she could just barely see him in the moonlight.

"Do you really think that this holiday will go off well, that nothing bad will happen?" She asked, wanting an honest answer. Malfoy took a second to think.

"No, I don't," he finally told her in the dark. "I'm sure something will go wrong, but that's what will make it an adventure. You don't need to worry," he whispered. "I'll look out for you, no matter what happens."

At ease with his answer, she snuggled down into her coat and rested her head on Malfoy's shoulder. Earlier in the day, she would've never imagined that this would happen. But here she was, on the way to God-knows-where to spend Christmas with Draco Malfoy and his mother and hopefully not his father, because that sure could put a damper on the holidays.

She was slightly worried about how the next few weeks would turn out, but she wasn't afraid. She was actually a little bit excited. She had time to relax and catch her breath and get to know a boy who was no longer her enemy but had become a friend.

That boy watched her eyes drift closed and lips slowly part as she fell asleep. He leaned over and softly kissed the top of her head. He then rested his head on top of hers, allowing himself to fall asleep beside one of the most beautiful girls he'd ever known. They stayed that way all through the night. As the air outside got colder, the backseat stayed warm, untouched by the quiet countryside that rolled by peacefully in the dark.

_My love will burn up in the light._

_And every time I look inside your eyes,_

_I'm burning in the light._

_Look inside your eyes,_

_I'm burning in the light._

_Look inside your eyes,_

_You make me wanna die._


End file.
